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This was written mainly for my online class, but I thought that maybe some others may find this useful.

I apologize before hand for grammar mistakes.
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Several times now I have said that I have dug my mind out. Digging your mind out is a fishy term I’ve been using for quite some time now. It seems grotesque, peculiar, and strange, but it is the sole reason at which I draw or write. Drawing for me is not to draw well, not to brag, and not to be the best. It is purely to reach a place that only I have seen and deeply want to show you. My own little “world” within my mind. Every time I draw I get a little closer to that world. I see a little glimpse of it before it vanishes before my eyes. My theory is that every has one—a safe place within their subconscious begging to be opened—a place where you, your inner self, dwells ready with the imagination to take you to new places. It takes years of practice, but “digging your mind out”, as I call it, is the way to add personality to your piece and grow as a person.

Every person I have met is incredibly interesting. It intrigues me so much that I want to see what they see. However, some don’t know how to express themselves. Often people don’t know where to start. This is a common case even with incredibly successful artist. It’s hard to do, and that’s understandable. Each of us has our own way of expressing ourselves so I cannot cover all the basis, but I can tell you how I do it and what has carried me to where I am now.

First, think. Think about everything you are doing. Start doing it right now at your desk. Do It when you are eating or while you are watching TV. Think about you like and don’t like and why. It sounds funny, but we underestimate the power to think or use our subconscious to our advantage. Usually we float with the world around us, but what we don’t understand is why we float. We also don’t know why we sink and why we are different. It is not because of people. It is because of you and yourself. Now it is time to realize why you are different.

When I started to think about myself was probably about a year ago. My art had always been dark, but never progressed to the point it is now. I started to look at common traits in the things I watched or habits I did regularly. Such as, I draw alone. I don’t do it in my room or at my table. Never do I do it around people, not even to sketch. If I do, I find that I prefer it less than if I drew by myself. My favorite video games are Silent Hill 4 and Resident Evil. My favorite movies are The Matrix, The Jacket, and Wall-E. I will also go back and think about I am Legend even though the story didn’t grab me as much as other movies. My favorite TV show is Invader Zim and favorite comic is JTHM. My favorite colors to use are black and white. I also prefer to be in the dark part of my mind then my happy one. Now, looking at this, I had to wonder what qualities about each thing shares as a common interest. I had to THINK and think hard. Meditate I guess you could say. After years I came to the conclusion that everything I like consists of being alone, being the last person on earth or being the only person to be able to identify with myself. After realizing this, my images began to change. Most of my images only have one person in it or share the characteristic of deep personal fears or anxieties. As scary this thought was, it comforted me greatly. I find comfort in the darkness, and I have come to accept that. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the color of blood. It does not make me a killer, or an “emo” individual. It is me and there is an art in everything we do. Just because the media deems a subject as horrible or lame doesn’t make it that way. If you like Pokémon or Mario think to yourself why. Why do you like bright colors or being in a large crowd? Finding that out progresses you further within yourself, and will change the way you write or draw.

Fan art is an easy way to dig deeper. Your subconscious will snag onto a character and love it for whatever reason, and it is your job to investigate that. That’s a good thing, and there is nothing wrong with drawing a specific character. What you should do next is sit while you are drawing and wonder what characteristic or adore or share with that character. What is it about that character that makes you love him/her so much. Focus on that quality.

The best example of this for me is Johnny. All of my JTHM art is so personal I come close in times of wanting to take them off my websites. Currently I have another one in my portfolio which I have not inked or scanned. I most likely won’t scan that image because to me these art pieces are not just images. They are a part of my life. The first time I thought of Final Wish I was actually going to make Johnny crying. However, when I drew that image it didn’t feel right. Sitting there I thought more about more about the character and then suddenly an image came to mind of a boy laughing hysterically. He was laughing so hard that I felt myself wanting to laugh. It was an insane laughter. A laughter of someone mocking the world all the way until death. The image came to me over and over and over until it became so vivid that I could draw it on paper. When done, I still today imagine that image. I’ll imagine even myself doing that same laugh. This process that I just described to you is “digging your mind” or “slapping your brain on paper”. Now that I have that image drawn I can look at it and realize that I am looking right at my subconscious. I am getting a little closer to that world because of Johnny. And that my friend is not mere fan art. It is not a COPY of Jhonen Vasquez’s work. Johnny is me in that image and nothing less. Nothing more.

The same goes for any other image or character. Silenced Noise was just the same. I imagine the image so many times that I want to scream with him. I want to start crying, holding myself until the pain goes away. I am like Oliver in “Who me? Yes You.” with a devious smile. I am just like all of my characters that I have created. Every time I create a character I grow and mature a little more, and that is how you should see your art. The next time you draw or write remember what I’ve just told you.

Think.